MLB turns cowardly and stupid in punishment of Jose Urena for intentionally drilling Ronald Acuna
Braves star Ronald Acuna Jr. had hit leadoff homers in three straight games. So of course Marlins starter Jose Urena drilled him in the left arm with the first pitch of the next game on Wednesday because baseball advocates cowardly and stupid actions.
Meanwhile, on another broadcast, Mets analyst and former player Keith Hernandez supported hitting Acuna because, yes, baseball has always advocated cowardly and stupid actions.
MLB should’ve suspended Urena for 40 games, which would’ve covered the rest of the Marlins’ schedule and next year’s opener. Or maybe 80 games, same as a steroid rip. MLB should’ve suspended Marlins manager Don Mattingly for 20 games because he’s supposed to be the adult in charge. MLB should’ve shown it was taking this seriously because severe injuries can come out of such gutlessness.
Urena’s motive was obvious and dangerous. At 97 mph, it was the hardest pitch he has thrown all season. It was aimed at Acuna’s upper body from the start. It was premeditated. It was worth a long goodbye.
But no. MLB gave him six games. One start, essentially. Nothing really.
Nothing but adding to the embarrassment, I should add. MLB has to stop enabling cockamamie unwritten rules that can put someone’s career in danger when a team is too lame or stupid to get the player out. This hits 11 on the Stupid-O-Meter. Every other sport tries to limit physical damage. But not baseball. Commissioner Rob Manfred earns a place on Mt. Stoogemore.
But Stevie Sunshine is here to characterize this as a feel-good moment, and here’s why:
As long as the likes of Manfred, Urena and Hernandez inhabit the Earth, you’ll never be the biggest moron on the planet.
Stevie Sunshine’s Weekly Power Rankings:
1. Luscious. It’s not just the Chicago Air and Water Show that makes skyscrapers tremble in the wake of welcomed power and grace.
2. Travis Blackwell and Michael Ogden. Travis, 12, was given a foul ball during the White Sox-Tigers game Tuesday night. Travis then walked the ball several rows down and gave it to Michael because “it’s his birthday.’’ That’s what you saw on the Sox broadcast as play-by-play ace Jason Benetti wonderfully described the moment. But later, another ball came over the netting and an adult gave it to Michael, who said he gave the ball to a girl sitting behind him because “it was her first baseball she has ever had." Travis called it the “line of awesomeness.’’ No, YOU’RE crying.
3. Bacon. One pound is an appetizer, two is an entrée, more is the point.
4. Carlos Rodon. That’s seven straight quality starts. That’s a 1.60 ERA in that time. That’s a WHIP under 1.0. That’s what a young ace looks like.
5. Derrick Rose. Launched the “Rose Scholars’’ program with $400,000 of funding to help high school graduates pay for college tuition. The former Bulls point guard can still deliver a big assist.
6. Jalen Ramsey. It’s what we want athletes to say. When asked his thoughts on which quarterbacks stink, the Jaguars cornerback didn’t make everyone crazy by mindlessly repeating that it’s between his agents and Mr. Pace.
7. Eli Manning. The Giants quarterback’s response to Ramsey’s criticism: "Who?"
8. Kelly Stafford. The wife of Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford responded to Ramsey’s criticism on her kbstafford89 instagram account: “Can someone tell me why @gq magazine is interviewing @jalenramsey? I understand espn..but not gq….there is nothing ‘GQ’ about him…’’
9. Cigars. Found a Fuente Hemingway Signature in the back of my locker. Saved me the trouble of finding $10 in my pants pocket.
10. Seaglass 2016 pinot noir. I was sure when I took the first sip or the second, but all of a sudden, the bottle’s half-gone.
Since coming off the disabled list in June, Clayton Kershaw has a 2.24 ERA for the Dodgers, striking out 55 and walking just eight with a WHIP under 1.0 in 60 1/3 innings. Maybe someday Yu Darvish can try that.
Eight straight quality starts for Kershaw vs. eight starts total for Darvish. Compare and contrast.
After Terrell Owens went rogue and held his own ceremony at his alma mater, the Pro Football Hall of Fame discussed refusing to induct a player who doesn’t show up for the ceremonies in Canton, Ohio, and I’m thinking, wait, in Randy Moss, the Hall just inducted a player who didn’t show up for every play.
And wait, in Ray Lewis, the Hall that brags about “men of honor,” just inducted a guy who pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice in connection with the stabbing death of two men.
What’s up, Marvell Wynne?
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