Best Halloween jokes from bad puns to one liners
It"s Halloween, which means everyone is preparing to trick or treat and scare the hell out of people.
If you"re looking for some light relief, then a few jokes might help.
When all the horror and terror gets too much have a look at our best (or worst) Halloween jokes.
There"s plenty of puns, one liners and terrible observations. Share your own jokes in the comments!
Here are some of the best Halloween jokes.
Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? Because it raises their spirits!
Why did the skeleton skip the Halloween party? He had nobody to go with
Why are graveyards noisy? Because of all the coffin!
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
What is a vampires favourite type of ship? A blood vessel.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Why are vampires stupid? A: Because they are all suckers.
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
What"s a ghost"s favorite desert? I-Scream!
Why didn"t the vampire bite Taylor Swift? Because she had bad blood.
He can"t stop laughing
How many vampires are in this room? I dont know, I cant Count Draculas.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snow man? Frostbite
What is a vampires least favorite food? Steak
Why are vampires like false teeth? They all come out at night.
What is a vampire"s favorite fruit? A necktarine
Where do vampires keep their money? The blood bank!!!
Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
Two ghosts walk into a bar, the bartender said. "Sorry but we don"t sell spirits."
Why was the mummy so tense? Because he was all wound up.
Why didn"t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? He didn"t have the guts.
What happened to the man who didn"t pay his exorcist? The house was repossessed.
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? The dayscare scentre.
How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
He doesn"t look too impressed
(Image: Getty Images)
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock their room? A spoo-key.
What do ghosts eat? Spooketi.
How do monsters tell the future? Read their horrorscope.
Why are ghosts terrible liars? You can see right through them!
Why don"t mummies take holidays? They"re scared they"ll unwind.
What do ghosts use on their hair? Shamboo!
Why don"t angry witches ride their brooms? They"re scared of flying off the handle.
What"s wrong with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
What do you get if you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? Hoblin Goblin.
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
What is a ghost"s favourite game? Hide and shriek!
Got a joke? Share it in the comments below.
Source: https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/best-halloween-jokes-bad-puns-13512209
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