Jimmy Kimmel Sits with Stupid Matt Damon at World Series
VERY NICE WE"RE COMING TO YOU FROM LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, HOME OF THE SECOND BEST TEAM IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL
THAT"S PRETTY GOOD, RIGHT? DODGER FANS ARE ESPECIALLY BLUE TODAY ACCORDING TO THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA, THE RED SOX BEAT THE DODGERS LAST NIGHT TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES BUT WE KNOW THE REAL STORY IS THE DODGERS SWEPT THE WORLD SERIES IN FOUR GAMES AND THE LAMESTREAM MEDIA WON"T REPORT THAT WE HAVE A LOT OF BOSTON FAN, DICKY IS ONE MOST WERE AT THE GAME SOME OF WHOM SNUCK THE GAME LAST NIGHT THERE WERE A LOT OF RED SOX FANS AT DODGER STADIUM INCLUDES A COUPLE WHOSE NAMES YOU MAY KNOW
>> THERE"S LESLIE MANN, HUSBAND JUDD APATOW TONY ROBBINS, FROM BEN AFFLECK TO MATT DAMON TO JIMMY KIMMEL >> Jimmy: LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, THERE"S NOTHING WORSE THAN PAYING A LOT OF MONEY FOR TICKETS AND HAVING TO SIT NEXT TO AN OBNOXIOUS JERK THE WHOLE GAME THE LAST TIME I EVER USE GROUPON AGAIN HE EATS OTHER PEOPLE"S UNFINISHED FOOD OFF THE FLOOR LIKE A RODENT
AFTER THE GAME HE"S DOWN ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES EATING GARBAGE LIKE THIS THAT WAS UNFORTUNATE BUT THE BIG LOSER EVEN THOUGH HIS TEAM ONE WAS BEN AFFLECK WHO MADE THE MISTAKE OF SITTING BETWEEN US AND THAT"S WHAT THEY CALL -- I BELIEVE THEY CALL THAT COLLATERAL DAMAGE, THOUGH THE RED SOX WON THE SERIES LAST NIGHT BUT THE DODGERS WON ONE FOR THE RECORD BOOKS FRIDAY NIGHT LAST YEAR, GUILLERMO AND CLETO AND I WENT TO THE SHORTEST WORLD SERIES GAME AND ALMOST MISSED THE GAME ON FRIDAY WE WENT TO THE LONGEST GAME IN POSTSEASON HISTORY, 7:20
18 INNINGS LONG I HAD -- HONESTLY I HAD TO CARRY THIS LITTLE FELLOW TO THE CAR IT WAS -- YOU KNOW, DODGER STADIUM STOPPED SERVING FOOD AND BEER AFTER THE SEVENTH EVEN IF IT GOES 18 FOR 11 INNINGS THERE WAS NOTHING TO EAT OR DRINK LUCKILY MY BROTHER BROUGHT HIS GLOVE TO CATCH FOUL BALLS AND WERE ABLE TO EAT THAT AS A FAMILY
ONE THING I NOTICED NO ONE DOES THE WAVE ANYMORE I GUESS THAT IS OUT OF STYLE FUNNY BECAUSE I ALWAYS HATED DOING THE WAVE HERE IT COMES AGAIN NOW THAT IT"S GONE, I MISS IT
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SHOULD GET RID OF JEFF, PLAY -- ♪ NO, NOT THAT ONE, THE -- THE FIRST ONE YEAH, YEAH RIGHT ♪ >> Jimmy: NOW, HOLD ON A SECOND
WHAT COULD BE LESS MOTIVATING THAN -- [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE THEY PUT A FLAMENCO DANCER IN FRONT OF THE CROWD ♪ THAT"S THE OPPOSITE OF GETTING FIRED UP I HAD A DODGER DOG AT THE GAME AND WHEN I SAY I HAD A DODGER DOG I HAD THREE DODGER DOGS BUT WE WENT TO THE LITTLE CONDIMENT COUNTER I LIKE THE GULDEN"S BROWN MUSTARD I DON"T TALK TO PEOPLE WHO VARY
THE BROWN MUSTARD THAT WAS USUALLY THERE WAS NOT THERE AND INSTEAD THEY HAD THIS BIG PUMP BOTTLE OF HONEY MUSTARD WHICH NOTHING AGAINST HONEY MUSTARD, IT"S FINE FOR CHICKEN FINGERS BUT YOU DON"T PUT THAT ON A HOT DOG EVEN BEES, IF YOU OFFERED THEM HONEY MUSTARD, BUT THE DODGERS HAD HONEY MUSTARD OUT FOR THEIR HOT DOGS AND THAT"S WHY THEY LOST THE WORLD SERIES IT"S THE FUNDAMENTALS
Source: Youtube
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